Edit

I studied International Affairs in the hopes of someday working abroad, fostering diplomacy and rubbing elbows with foreign leaders (all of which I've done, actually). I seriously considered applying for the Foreign Service. I imagined working in an embassy, even rising to Ambassador.

Well, thank God I didn't. I could never be a diplomat.

You see, I just don't think before I speak. Especially when there is alcohol involved.

Around new people, I generally try to keep it low key. Control my expressions, and my mouth. I tend to be more reserved than usual.

I was lucky enough to meet a few fellow bloggers last evening for a couple drinks. Amid the conversation and the accordion in the background, I forgot myself. I opened up- I was enjoying the company, and felt comfortable. And so my personality came out in full force, for better or for worse.

Now, I was nowhere near drunk, maybe just a wee bit tipsy. I couldn't help but wonder, though, as they helped me flag a cab, if I should have toned it down a bit. Did they think I needed help getting a taxi? Did they think I was wasted... Is that why they were so nice? And so I second guessed myself the whole way home.

(This is no reflection on the wonderful people I met last night, of course. This is my own insecurity.)

Anyway, this morning, I woke up glad. Happy that I was my true self. That I didn't self-edit. If you can't be honest around your friends, who can you be yourself with? It's exhausting, and cumbersome, to keep your guard up all the time. It's uncomfortable, and not conducive to relationship building.

I'm finally confident enough to put myself- my whole self- out there. Some people will like it, some won't. With any luck, I'll make some true friends in the process.

I just hope people don't think I'm drunk all the time...